Four months before the beginning of staff training, Chief Dave Naysmith, my primary source of information about the previous summer’s DL staff and Guides, took me through the lists, person by person.

John Fox had considerable Deerfoot experience, was an Eagle Scout, and basically a solid person. However, while a counselor the previous summer, he had been involved with those who had at least a few beers. DL has a strict no-alcohol policy. If the DL Director learns that a staff member has had any alcoholic beverage between the first day of staff training and his last day in camp, he is history, at least for the rest of the summer.

When I faced these hiring situations, I always remembered some of the stupid things I have done, and been given a second chance!

As the Director of Deerfoot Lodge, my greatest responsibility was the hiring of summer staff. To the very best of my ability I had to learn where each staff member was at the time of hiring on the following questions. With regard to John:

• Does John have Jesus Christ as his Savior, and desire to have Him as the Lord of his life? Dave thought John could say yes to both questions. I would ask John.
• Does John enjoy the out of doors and kids/campers? Yes
• Was John physically and emotionally able to serve through an eleven week DL summer? Yes
• He was a gymnast, and seemed to be emotionally solid. Good energy levels.
• Does John have the camping and personal relationship skills to be a great DL counselor? Yes
• Would John abide by the DL staff standards of conduct? Dave thought John would be true to his word.

I met with John for a lengthy conversation, and then hired John to be a counselor for the next summer. John did well through the three weeks of staff training. At the end of staff training I asked John if he would like to be the leader for the Adirondack High Peaks two week Voyageur hike. He was excited about the opportunity.

I then asked another counselor to be John’s assistant on the trip. Not interested. So I asked another. Not interested. Having worked with John the previous summer, they had no interest in going on a Voyageur trip with John.

When I explained this situation to John, I suggested that he had a couple choices. He could go home, feeling like a failure. Or he could stay and demonstrate to the staff he had learned from his bad decisions of the previous summer.

John stayed, was an excellent counselor, became a DL Lone Eagle, an orthopedic surgeon and today is on the Deerfoot Board of Directors. After I had written the first draft of the above, I sent it to John for his approval, suggestions, etc. His response: “When you list my “accomplishments” please make sure to give God the glory for these, not me. I am where I am because He was faithful… Otherwise, run with it.” John Fox lives In Partnership With God.

Jesus taught his disciples to pray: “Jesus, forgive our sins, as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.” — Matthew 6:12

Jesus also told us how often we are to forgive: “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.” — Luke 17:3-4

Because Jesus Christ forgives me, and I forgive others, I can live In Partnership With God.

Money was tight, even with significant contributions from DL Board members who made it possible for DL to move from having a summer-only director, to a person who could focus on the DL ministry throughout the year. But the fundamental question was the right one to ask: What should the DL ministry look like? If the desired end result was kept in mind, this would impact the decisions made in every area: program development, staff selection, facility and equipment maintenance, and capital improvements.

It was agreed that DL should remain a ministry committed to building godly young men, to its theological statement, to its location, and to its basic program elements. All agreed excellence should be the mark of every aspect of the DL ministry. I was charged with the responsibility to build the finest possible ministry through which godly young men could be developed.

In February, 1982, equipped with a legal pad (years before lap top computers), I spent hours/days with DL people, asking each to share their knowledge and evaluation of the DL program, past and present. I began talking with my dad, a DL counselor in the second and third years of DL history, 1931 – 32, when one of the sessions had 12 campers. I spent hours talking with two of Mom and Dad Kunz’ daughters and one of their grandsons, with six DL Board members who had been part of DL from its earliest years, and with men and women who had been key people at DL for at least the past 25 years. I talked with the first Lone Eagles, with the person who developed the Guide program, and with Jack Gill, the DL Director 12 years prior to my coming.

I was told about the wonderful DL food, and that there was never a shortage of meat in the earliest years – deer meat thanks to Cal Wilbur. From its beginning, there was an after breakfast Bible study taught by the Director, Dad Kunz. The Circle of Friendship was from the beginning, when each group of campers left – yet somehow this had disappeared. I learned hikes were weekly and camp fires were frequent.

Through these “interviews” I also learned Dad Kunz had spent a summer prior to his beginning Deerfoot Lodge on the staff of Pioneer Camp in Canada. I was a camper at this same Pioneer Camp for twelve weeks.

I make the changes to the DL program deemed necessary to incorporate what I had learned. Rather than bring in an outside Bible teacher, the Board of Directors said that I, as Director, would teach the after breakfast Bible studies. There would no longer be a 5:00 Bible study. Following Dad Kunz’ example, I focused my time on the DL program and not on maintenance. The cross country and bicycle camps were discontinued, enabling greater focus on the remaining rewards program. The Circle of Friendship was reinstated to end each session.

Interestingly, none of the changes made were resisted by campers, staff or parents. DL was becoming more like the Deerfoot of yesteryear. The early and current Deerfoot leadership worked at living In Partnership With God. The results of this working relationship have been evident throughout Deerfoot’s history.

“To God Be The Glory – Great Things He Has Done”

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” — Romans 15:5-6

Chuck is at Deerfoot for the work weekend – he asked me to tell another side of the story. I wanted to start out “meanwhile, back at the Ranch…”, but for our family there was no more ranch. Our life of nearly seven years had been turned upside down. No more weekend trips to work at the ranch, no more fellowship with the staff there, no more enjoying country life and seeing dear friends we had made – we were now living in Dallas full time and adjusting to a whole new life style.

In the fall I had talked to the various music teachers – piano, viola and cello – asking if they would teach our kids even though we did not know how much longer we would be in Dallas or how many months we would have the money to pay for lessons. Music lessons started, Dirk joined a soccer team, Jenna had baby sitting jobs, sleepovers become part of our life and Carla traveled daily to feed her horses located on the way to downtown Dallas and started teaching riding lessons every weekend. Chuck and I were co-chairman of the high school orchestra parent’s board. With the orchestra (Carla was first chair cellist) planning a trip to a competition in Vienna, Austria, we were into a busy year of meetings, fund raising, publicity and a banquet.

Then, on January 15, Chuck left for New York. Please factor into what follows that all this predates cell phones, e-mails and inexpensive long distance calls!

• The first week a neighbor backed into our car as the girls were driving to school. He did not want to call his insurance company so I got estimates for repairs and he paid. I got a letter from the gas company saying our gas would be cut off because we had not paid bill. They were wrong, gas stayed on.
• The second week, as Carla and I were driving home from the stable in rush hour traffic we were pulled over by the police. Our out of date, Illinois plates (we had brought back Chuck’s mom’s car after her death) had attracted his attention. But then the car came up as stolen and he would not believe we were mother and daughter. While we were trying to prove our innocence, Jenna and Dirk were at home wondering why we had not come home for supper. An hour later, ticket in hand but not in jail for thievery, we were on our way.
• The third week I was involved with a realtor, starting to get the house on the market. Carla was buying a horse to use for teaching which meant I was involved in horse trailers and transportation. Said horse was found to have a serious foot problem – a pre-existing condition. So began the process of getting her money back….
• The fourth week we were all counting the days until Chuck came back!

And so the weeks continued with orthodontist appointments, music competitions, concerts, track meets, a huge orchestra fund raising garage sale, flat tire, starting the packing process, Chuck leaving and coming back several more times. The house sold the end of February – the first day it was on the market. Jenna started looking for a buyer for her many pigeons and her chickens (yes, they lived in our backyard). As I read through my diary I wonder – how did I keep going? How did our children survive? Chuck and I were on an emotional see-saw – a good thing, when one of us was down the other was up.

There were many fun moments –once we met Chuck at the airport dressed as hillbillies – patches on our clothes, teeth blackened, mismatched boots. Poor man – in sport coat, carrying his attaché case, looking like he wanted to disown us and then breaking up with laughter!

And there was a special friend God had brought into my life. Since our future was so uncertain, I had stopped teaching a weekly Bible study I had led for several years. Judy Cole had joined the group a year before, a newcomer to Dallas who lived just north of us. Through all the months of turmoil, Judy and I met most Wednesdays for lunch. We talked, we prayed, she listened, we studied the Bible, I shared, she encouraged. She provided a much needed safe place for me. In God’s amazing timing, on the day our moving van left for New York, the Cole’s moving van left for California!

On May 29th our family left Dallas driving two cars, one pulling a horse trailer with four of Jenna’s pigeons and some of my favorite plants plus Chuck’s tools in it, the other pulling a small trailer containing our library. The older car had a habit of breaking down which provided some interesting stops along the way. Each car had a CB – all of us had “handles” as we set off on the journey to New York, looking forward to the “hope and future” God had planned for us.

On December 18, 1981, Dale Harro called to say the selection committee was recommending me to the DL Board as the next Director of Deerfoot Lodge at their meeting. This meeting would be January 15, and would I please come. During the next five weeks the reality of my situation began to sink in.

I was going to meet the twelve members of the Board of Directors. To date I had met five, and only in the context of my interviews. I knew almost nothing about the camp philosophy of ministry, program, facility, equipment, finances, campers or staff. I began to wonder if I could direct a camp without a secretary, business manager, marketing director or program director. It was just me! I kept reminding myself….I was God’s man for the job. From the Bible I knew God did not put people into situations where they would fail if they were determined to live under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

On January 15 I left home, knowing I would not return to be with Sally Jo and our children for four weeks. This was really tough because Sally Jo had been my rock for the previous five months. When I arrived at the Newark Airport Dale Harro took me to meet with the DL Board of Directors. After talking a couple hours I was asked to leave the conference room while they met in executive session to decide if they would accept the selection committee’s recommendation.

I left the room and took a seat at the end of the hallway and waited…and waited…and waited. I finally got up and started walking up and down the hallway. When the Board Chairman came to get me, he was very apologetic. He explained that the Board had quickly confirmed my becoming the camp director – and then somehow moved into the discussion of another subject, totally forgetting about me!

When I returned to the conference room, everyone clapped and shook my hand with a big smile. The Chairman said they would put me on the DL payroll as of January 1. He then made it very clear this was a policy making Board, not a Board of Directors who would be involved in day to day camp operations. He went on to say they realized I would need considerable help to be ready for summer camp in five months. They believed by working together we would get DL up to speed. Then several told what they were prepared to do. John Landis, the VP of Thomas J. Paul Advertising, said he would help produce the summer camp brochure. Jack Gill, a former DL camp director, said he was prepared to serve as treasurer, receiving contributions, writing checks, and keeping the books. Ed Hawkins said he would continue to manage the DL mailing list and mailings. Jim Masterson had a Mercury station wagon for my use. Dale Harro said his daughter-in-law would serve as camp registrar, and so it went. Each gave me a page with their name, DL experience, contact information, wife’s name, children’s names and ages, their vocation and how they thought they would be able to help. On the back of the page each had drawn a map to their home. Talk about feeling accepted, affirmed, and supported in every possible way.

After the meeting I went with Dale to his home where my bedroom and the Mercury were ready and waiting. I immediately went to meet the former DL camp director and his wife. Ray was a teacher and track coach. After perhaps an hour they gave me a box the size to hold a bulky sweater. The box contained all of the DL records they had for me. Ouch. For the next four weeks I learned as much as I could about DL. I talked hours with the Harro boys, and began spending a night in the home of almost every Board member. In their homes I asked questions and took pages of notes. I also met with Dave Naysmith who had earned a great reputation as head cook, and been involved with DL for many years. He was a wealth of information and encouragement. Gradually I learned about Deerfoot’s present and past.

Everywhere I went people wonderfully cared me. This was 1982 – no cell phones, no e-mails. Long distance calls were expensive. I remember spending an evening with Fred Long and his wife. After dinner we talked into the evening. He then encouraged me to use the telephone in my room to call anyone and talk as long as I wanted. What a gift.

“We are one body in Christ” — Romans 12
“Carry each other’s burdens” — Galatians 6
“anyone who gives you a cup of water” — Luke 9

I was In Partnership With God, and also with an incredible group of men!

It is hard to lose my job because someone lied about me.
It is hard for God’s people, in any situation, to lose their job because someone lied about them.
It must have been hard on Joseph when he lost his job because someone lied about him.

It is hard to wait for a job.
It is hard for God’s people if they are out of work for months, unable to make house payments.
It must have been hard for Moses to leave a palace to live in the wilderness 40 years – no job.

It is hard to be away from family for three week stretches – work requires it!
It is hard for God’s person to spend weeks away on job assignment, or a year away – in Iraq or Afghanistan.
It must have been hard for the apostle Paul to continually live on mission trips – with no family to return to.

It is hard to sit at a desk in an empty office and call every boy (180) who attended DL the year before – please return!
It is hard for the Christian sales person to call prospect after prospect seeking a sale – knowing their income is at stake.
It must have been hard for Jeremiah to plead with God’s people to repent, to turn for their sinful ways. No sale!

It is hard to eat another meal in a restaurant or at McDonalds – alone.
It is hard to be God’s person, who, in the line of their work, eats another meal in a restaurant, or at McDonalds – alone.
It must have been hard for Caleb to be stuck in the wilderness eating manna – even when he had trusted God for victory

It is hard to hire 50 employees on the basis of one or two recommendations and one personal interview.
It is hard to open a new franchise, and, even after considerable prayer, to hire people – knowing they could do poorly.
It must have been hard for Jesus to have Peter deny him three times – even though Jesus knew Peter would do it.

It is hard to be the director of a camp, when you are unsure of how the camp should function.
It is hard for a believer to begin a new job when they have not observed the person who previously had the position.
It must have been hard for Timothy when Paul asked him to remain in Ephesus to teach the truth to a developing church.

Life, for the believer, will have periods of time when it is hard to know what is God’s best for the situation.
It does not matter if the believer is in full time Christian vocation or working for a “secular company”.
It does not matter if the believer lives today, or 2000 years ago.

When we live In Partnership With God, we may have situations that stretch our bodies, minds and faith.
Through history, God has let this happen to His people.

Perhaps God has chosen challenges for His people – that we may grow in our confidence of God’s faithfulness.

Sally Jo and I had waited somewhat patiently for God’s next assignment. We were both excited about the opportunity to work with Deerfoot Lodge, and when we went to see Deerfoot for the first time, this excitement was further kindled as we drove up I-87 from New Jersey to Albany, NY. It was beautiful: the Hudson River, the Swangunk and Catskill Mountains, the fresh snow. We were back to the area of the country we had so enjoyed during our four years in Connecticut.

Later, as I met with the selection committee and learned more of the ministry of Deerfoot Lodge my heart was thankful to the place of bursting. But as I flew from Newark back to Dallas, self doubt began to push the excitement aside. Would I get the job – this job that seemed so right to us.

And then the call came: “Chuck, the committee believes that you are God’s choice for the new Director of Deerfoot Lodge”. Our first response: excitement. My second response: Can I really do this?” How would I do without a supporting staff?” Could I do a good job as a camp director without a staff member with an MBA of Business, and another with an MBA in marketing? How would I do without an excellent secretary, without an excellent program man, and without a year around maintenance man? How could I direct a camp that I had never seen in operation, never seen except under a foot of snow? And where would I find sixty staff? I only knew one potential staff member well.

My uneasiness increased as it began to sink in that I would spend most of the next five months alone. Sally Jo and our three children would be remaining in Dallas through the end of the school year while I traveled out from the Harro’s home to visit other DL Board members, potential staff, and to make DL presentations – presentations about a place I knew very little about. And what had I done to us financially? We had a daughter heading for college the next year and I was taking a cut of a third in my compensation package, and we were moving from Texas where there was no sales tax, no state income tax, and property taxes were three times what they were Texas.

“Lord, did I misunderstand your leading?” Yes, I had experienced God’s provisions for our family and for the ministries I had been a part of in the past, but I could not help but wonder if these provisions would continue. I knew I should be able to trust in the Lord, to have confidence in God’s dependable guidance and provision, but in this situation, it was a stretch. It did not help that I was still struggling with occasional visual distortion of the real world around me.

Through the Bible I knew my feelings of inadequacy, of doubting God’s sufficiency, had been experienced by others God had chosen for specific tasks. God said to Moses, I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt. Moses responded: Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt? If I go to the Israelites and say to them, the God of your fathers has sent me, and they ask, what is his name?, what shall I tell them? What if they do not believe me? O Lord, I have never been eloquent, I am slow of speech and tongue?” –Exodus 3 and 4

At such times, if we want to live “In Partnership With God”, we must continue to go forward, doing what we believe God would have us do, regardless of how impossible the task truly is – apart from the Lord’s continual guidance and provision.

In this situation, I never did hear God’s voice, or have Him speak to me through a dream. But as I worked hard at seeking to do the job others, as well as Sally Jo and I, believed God desired for us to do, I did experience God’s guidance and provision. Yes, God was being God, and I only needed to be His faithful servant.

In the context of being interviewed for the position of Director of Deerfoot Lodge I learned all I could about the ministry. Sally Jo and I had visited the facility; I had reviewed a variety of reports and asked many questions. The situation was not good. Camper attendance over a 15 year period was down about 50%. The facilities were in need of considerable repair. Annual contributions were down to $13,000 annually. The camp was operating in the red, and there had been some discussion about closing Deerfoot Lodge.

But then again, I was not in a good situation either!!!!

Almost five months earlier I had been asked to resign – for reasons I did not know. I had a wife and three children, and our money was running out. Emotionally I was not doing real well either, though I was not in as bad a shape as Elijah when “He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. ‘I have had enough, Lord’”. I Kings 19:24, and my wife was supportive, not like Job’s wife who said: “Curse God and die!” Job 2:9

During several hours of meeting with the selection committee there were many questions and considerable discussion. I remember being asked something like “Chuck, you have moved five times during your 17 years of ministry. At Sky Ranch you had a year around staff of at least 9. At Deerfoot Lodge you will have a year around staff of 1 – you. What reason do we have to expect that you can adjust to this change, and will stay for more than a few years?”

I had thought through my answer to this question. “I have told the Lord that I would like to spend my life building lives, not building another camp or helping to “fix” another ministry. I would like to remain the Director of Deerfoot Lodge for 25 years, until I retire.”

After being hired as the Director of Deerfoot Lodge, the head of the selection committee, Dale Harro, told me that the selection committee had interviewed eleven candidates, most of whom had Deerfoot experience as camper or staff member. At the end of all the interviews, each member of the selection committee was asked to write down the name of the person they believed should become the Director of Deerfoot Lodge. Every member of the committee wrote down my name. Then he said: “Chuck, always remember when things get tough, and they will, you are God’s choice for this position.”

• Noah was God’s choice, and he built an ark for over 100 years.
• Joseph was God’s choice, and he was sold as a slave and later thrown into prison unjustly.
• Moses was God’s choice, and he was leader of the Israelites in the desert for 40 years.
• Nehemiah was God’s choice, and he had to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem.
• Daniel was God’s choice, and went to the lion’s den.
• John the Baptist, Stephen, Peter, and Paul were God’s choices too.

During the 23 years I served as Director of Deerfoot Lodge, there were many difficult times. Often I would think back to what Dale Harro said: “Remember Chuck, you are God’s Choice”.

Living In Partnership With God is both a comfort…and a challenge!

Having received the information brochure telling that Deerfoot Lodge was seeking a new camp director…and seeing that the application deadline was past, I called the Chairman of the Selection Committee. Dr. Dale Harro and I talked briefly. He confirmed that the application deadline was past, and then encouraged me to complete and mail my application to him. I would be considered for the position. The application was in the mail the next day – November 2.

Receiving the Deerfoot Lodge application was an incredible experience. Though I had never seen Deerfoot Lodge, I had heard much about this wonderful place. My father had worked as a camp counselor the summers of 1931-2 while in medical school. These were special years as his father had died when he was a teenager and Dad Kunz had been like a father to him. My father told me about the kind of man Dad Kunz was, what the early years of the camp were like, and also…about very carefully sewing up a counselor who had accidentally sat down on a sharp double-bitted ax.

The stated purpose and philosophy of Deerfoot Lodge were essentially what Sally Jo and I had written down two months earlier: We wanted to help young people grow spiritually while providing for them the opportunity to learn skills that people had used through history – fire building, cooking out doors, hiking, swimming, canoeing, fishing, archery, riflery, survival, etc. Sally Jo and I had also written down that we did not want to have offices in two locations which required a weekly commute between the two. Sally Jo and I felt we were a good fit with Deerfoot Lodge.

Meanwhile, life had to go on. On November 6 we had a garage sale. On November 8, Sally Jo was exhausted so stayed home from church, was up only for meals. On the 15th and 16th my dad came for a visit, and, as you can imagine, serious conversation. On the 18th we went out to Sky Ranch to visit the cook and his wife, Dennis and Linda Rice – great people, great friends. Every visit flooded us with memories, both wonderful and tough. On November 19 Sally Jo wrote in her diary “so tired”. On November 25th we made another day trip to the Ranch, this time to help Dennis and Linda move into their new home on the ranch – a beautiful home nearing completion when I was asked to resign. On that trip we also spent time with Walter Hodges. Walter, a retired insurance man, lived just up the road and had worked side by side with Sally Jo as they developed the five acre garden. When his wife, Bonnie, had a stroke, our friendship deepened. We also spent time with Glad, the widow who had financially helped in the development of the new camp facility – another wonderful friend. We would be leaving these friends soon…for somewhere.

Life had to go on – music lessons, soccer practice, horses at the barn, church activities, an orchestra concert, Sally Jo’s weaving class, the teaching of my Sunday school class…and shopping, ironing, and phone calls that included a lengthy conversation with the Deerfoot Lodge selection committee. Through this telephone interview process I learned the committee was talking with many people. As I had no confidence that Deerfoot was the place God would have us – or to put it differently, that the committee would select me, I continued to meet with people whose organizations were interested in hiring me. Emotionally all of this was extremely difficult. It is wonderful to say, even to believe, that God is in control, but we must also acknowledge that human beings make mistakes. I am a human and the selection committee: humans also. Yes, we do live In Partnership With God, and yes, God does work together for good – but there are often huge bumps in the road!

Then came the telephone call we had hoped and prayed for! Would we both fly to NY on December 9 so we could see, for the first time, the Deerfoot Lodge facility, and for my first face to face meeting with the selection committee. So we flew from Texas to see Deerfoot Lodge which had at least a foot of snow. It was a bitter cold day when Dale, and his son, Clayton, took us on a tour of the facility – out to the Island and out to the Point and through innumerable empty cold buildings. Dale later said they were freezing, but thought we wanted to see more, and we were freezing and wondering why they thought we should see it all!

After returning to Dallas I was called: “You are in the final three. Would I please return on the 18th for a second meeting with the selection committee. After the meeting I flew home. Late that night we received a call from Dale Harro: “You will unanimously be recommended to the Deerfoot Lodge Board of Directors as the new Director of Deerfoot Lodge.”

After Mom’s memorial service we headed back to Dallas. School was starting for our three children, there were two horses, pigeons and chickens to take care of, the girls were into their music lessons, Dirk was practicing with his soccer team, I was teaching a seminar for a Sunday school convention, Chris Phillips, a member of our Bakerville CT church was coming for five days, and two days after he left, the Depuhls were arriving from Christ Camp in Germany for four days on their way to the Christian Camping International Convention in Glorietta, New Mexico – of which I was Chairman.

Yes, it was a crazy three weeks, but the seemingly necessary pace of life kept us focused on current and future events. There was very little time to think about what had happened to us in the previous month. Chris’s visit was therapeutic. He had been a college freshman when we left Connecticut, I was the minister for his wedding, and now he was in the pastorate. The Depuhl’s visit was brain stretching. They had asked Sally Jo and me to come to Germany two years before to help them turn the German farm that he had inherited into a Christian camp. This had been an incredible experience – the old farm buildings were stone, the roof was tile, and they enclosed a large cobble stone court yard. Now they wanted guidance on programming, their brochure, etc.

As for the camping convention – I had delegated everything possible to proven people and they had carried out their assignments incredibly well. Glorietta is the Presbyterian Church’s camp and conference facility. Their staff knew their business, their facility was beautiful and functional, and the hundreds of participants could stay in 1st class rooms, dorms, bring their own trailer or tent, whatever their budget or preference, and we could all eat together in their large cafeteria.

Apart from checking with key people, I was free to be with Sally Jo. During the five days of the convention we were able to spend time with camping friends from around the country, really the world, and meet with people who were interested in our coming to work for them.

It was a wonderful week. I remember sitting in the front row of the auditorium when the photo summary of the convention was completed – and as everyone stood and clapped, I sat and hung my head in tears, tears of thankfulness: the convention had gone well! I had been God’s provision to direct this first International Christian Camping Convention. And the convention was God’s provision to me – I had to see the convention through to a successful conclusion, and did. Meanwhile, Sally Jo, who had watched from the back, was also in tears – tears of pain, confusion and hurt. Camping friends hugged and comforted her.

The drive home was a long one. I remember sitting with Sally Jo in a motel in Wichita Falls, Kansas, at the end of a long day’s drive. We looked at each other – both exhausted – and realized that we had decided to decline every potential job opportunity. Now what? No choice. Get up the next morning and finish the drive to Dallas. It was a long, quiet ride. My mind would go to verses I lived by, that I believe:

Great verses, but…

We had gone to the convention fully expecting to leave with God’s quiet peace in our hearts, the confirmation of what we should do next. Nothing. “God, where is your guidance, where is your provision?”

We got up early the next morning, drove through horrendous rain (description from Sally Jo’s diary) and arrived home for lunch. It was Saturday, October 31, and as we ate together, we all had stories to tell. But when our children asked about a job, laughter turned to silence. It is tough to tell your children – “sorry, but we still do not know what we should do next.”

At the end of the day we sat down and opened the accumulated mail. In the mail – Deerfoot Lodge, in Upstate New York, was seeking a new Director. I met their qualification requirements. Then my heart sank. The deadline for applying was past.

• Perhaps I could have cast more of my burden upon the Lord so He could have better cared for me – Psalm 55:22
• Perhaps I could have trusted in the Lord more, confident that he would direct my path – Proverbs 3:5-6
• Perhaps I could have put more of the recent past behind me so as to better press on for God’s high calling– Philippians 3:13-14
• Perhaps I could have forgiven more completely – Matthew 18:21-22
• Perhaps I could have more completely been still before the Lord, waiting patiently for Him – Psalm 37:7

Honest, I was doing my best to do all of these things. I had experienced God’s care and provision many times. I had experience in casting my burden, in trusting the Lord, of pressing on through difficult experiences, forgiving when it seemed impossible, and experience in resting in God’s care.

Nevertheless…I went crunch sometime in the fall of 1981

• Having lost my job and been unable to learn why
• Having to be part of a family that suddenly had its focus of time and energy stripped away
• Having to give up our recently completed home at the ranch
• Having to walk away from the Sky Ranch secretary and business manager who were good friends
• Having to talk with all manner of people about “it all”, which was good, but exhausting
• Having been with my mom when she died
• Having turned down excellent job opportunities because neither Sally Jo or I believed them God’s will
• Having to go to our church, where five Sky Ranch Board members attended – and many others who knew what had happened and did not know why
• Having the responsibility for the Christian Camping International Convention in New Mexico in two months

• At some point I realized that my blood pressure had gone way up and I had to go on blood pressure medication
• At some point I realized that, at least weekly, when in bed with my eyes closed, our bedroom would turn on its side and I would have to open my eyes to get re-oriented
• At some point I realized that, at least weekly, I was not seeing my physical environment like it really was, but rather as a picture distorted and stretched out – like some Salvador Dali paintings. At the same time I realized that, most often when driving, I would feel like I was in a tunnel – and the area around my tunnel was very dark and closing in on me. As I drove on, gradually the true world would return and I would be OK.

I pressed on, for the above did not prevent me from living a “normal” life.

Both Sally Jo and I came to realize that, due to our investment of time and energy, and the contributions of many family and friends, we would not have left Sky – apart from a “clear message from God”. Being asked to resign became that clear message – but it seemed to be a senseless, painful way to receive this message. We had good reason to believe what had happened was meant for evil, but how could God work this for good? Genesis 45:5, Romans 8:28

After hours of discussion, Sally Jo and I wrote out what we believed would be the type of ministry where we should be serving. What we wrote was a very different situation from where we had been serving.

Our desire to live In Partnership With God was never in question.

But when?
But where?